I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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