sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
