he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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