I wanna bring you to show and tell
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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