M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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