I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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