Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My penis needs a shock collar
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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