i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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