Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize