It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
