brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
