dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
