Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
