I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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