I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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