I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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