that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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