Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
