I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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