Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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