Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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