Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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