this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
