So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
