i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
