so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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