Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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