I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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