After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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