um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
