Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
