he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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