I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
