He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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