Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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