i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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