That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
