i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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