I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
