It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
