Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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