i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
