Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
