i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
