he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
