Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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