That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
