Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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