Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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