you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
