I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
