I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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