I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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