dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
