Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
