p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
