Sponge bath it is.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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