They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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