How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
