Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
