Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
