it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
